| mhm |
[Mar. 16th, 2005|04:46 pm] |
| [ | I am |
| |  complacent | ] |
| [ | La Musica |
| | ugly cassanova | ] |
im through with livejournal.
goodbye <3 |
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| go ahead and play dead |
[Mar. 9th, 2005|04:52 pm] |
| [ | I am |
| | impressed | ] |
| [ | La Musica |
| | garbage | ] |
i honestly dont know what i would do if he left. thats the point that im at right now. hes not, i know that, and i am told everyday that hes not going anywhere for a long time, that hes so happy, etc and he means every word...but if and when it does happen, i can picture myself being devastated. when with the people ive been with in the past- i wouldnt give a damn...& if i felt anything in the first place: i was over it in a matter of days.
but that thought only crosses my mind 1 out of 8932798732474354768 thoughts a day. the others are fucking happy. like, unlike myself happy. im naturally a "glass half full" person, but take that and times it by 54 and thats how i am now. absolutely nothing gets to me, smiling all the time- even when upset, laughing at everything, even fucking skipping. i dont skip. but i do now. he makes me soo happy, and just- alive i guess. and i am actually willing to do anything to make this one work. which definitely isnt my frame of mind.
downside- he goes to a different school & works a lot. but the feeling of missing him disappearing is so amazing when i get to see him on the weekends. i couldnt be happier that i have this
im not in love by any mean, dont get me wrong. but its definitely bliss i guess you could say, and the most amazing part- its just the beginning. |
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| how am i supposed to breathe.. |
[Mar. 6th, 2005|08:51 am] |
| [ | I am |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | La Musica |
| | park | ] |
we have school monday when the whole world doesnt. yay for private school. not. i need that extra day too.
movie last night. fun. more than fun- awesome because of him
update- not single anymore. and damn happy this time
dear summer,
please come as soon as you can.
buhbye<3 |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 20th, 2005|12:32 pm] |
| [ | I am |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | La Musica |
| | the yeah yeah yeahs | ] |
i love four day weekends, i love four day weekends, i love four day weekends hey hey hey hey
(sung to the tune of "ive got a pickle")
sooo...yeah.
i think that i FINALLY got through to him that we're nothing. this would be the...3rd time we've had this talk. but hey, third times a charm.
community service today...erg. but i get to play with puppies at petsmart with alli and elizabeth. cool community service in my book.
missed a cool party with kelly (my love) from what i hear...all because i didnt get home until 1. and because my phone hates me and chooses not to ring sometimes. damnit.
okay...........bye. <33
you've caught my eye ;) |
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| thats right..hoe |
[Feb. 15th, 2005|08:38 am] |
| [ | I am |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | La Musica |
| | the dresden dolls | ] |
tell her why you think shes so cool
talk to her in movie theatres
hold her hand
and skip
hold her hand and run
just hold her hand
let her pay if she wants to
sit in a park and talk to her
just talk to her
take her to the library
take her to your house
take her anywhere
tell her dirty jokes
tell her happy stories
tell her your stories
tell her anything
when she starts swearing at you-
tell her you love her
take her to shows of bands shes never heard of
hold her hand in the mosh pit
let her fall asleep in your arms
sing to her
no matter how bad you are
get her mad, then kiss her
give her space if she needs it
stay up with her all night if shes sick
and hold back her hair
give her a pet name- a cool one, not a sappy one
take her to cool shops
and let her take you to even cooler ones
listen to all the bands she mentions
dont tell her that her favorite bands suck
buy her ice cream
let her take all the pictures of you she wants
look into her eyes
slow dance with her
kiss her in the rain
just kiss her
be yourself around her
and when you fall in love with her...
tell her.
hmm....pshh..yeah right.
valentines day was-interesting-to say the least. i walked into first period and there were roses on my desk. suprised me. but in a good way, i guess. cancelled dinner reservations just because. but still ended up going to his house and fell asleep (on accident) during the movie. hah. only for about 30 minutes though, and he didnt notice. yeah....
the rest is a secret. :)
i dont like uniforms for school....fuck knee socks. i look like i should be in a japanese porn video
<33 bye |
|
|
| ...suddenly everythings real |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|11:24 am] |
| [ | I am |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
| [ | La Musica |
| | the pixies | ] |
i honestly dont know what to think anymore. i just wished that i cared, i guess. but i dont....at all.
so much i should say, yet so much i j u s t c a n t.
got to figure all of this shit out i suppose....
until then,
<33 |
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| whoooooooooooooooooooooooo |
[Jan. 31st, 2005|01:13 pm] |
| [ | I am |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | La Musica |
| | eagles of death metal | ] |
hah.
well..its my birthday bitches. my mom forgot- what a fucking suprise. so i came to school all pissed off at the world because not only did she forget, but we got in a fight over NOTHING. so- she needs to die. anyways. my day got so much better. i got a bouquet of roses (16 in all), and alli, adam, and philip all pitched in and bought me a bailey's chocolate cake. so we all chilled in the art room and ate that. then robin made up a poem that doesnt even rhyme for me. hah. oh well.
and last night philip came over, and he gave me 2 cds. and cookies-hah. :)
geez i love people.
<33 |
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| i wont set you free |
[Jan. 27th, 2005|01:21 pm] |
| [ | I am |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | La Musica |
| | HORSE the band | ] |
okay, so yeah that was a great weekend and all...but now he thinks that we're "going out". which we're not. i dont know if i want that. i just want to be single for now. and plus- ive hurt a really amazing guy in the process and have probably messed up their band stuff, because hes not really going anymore. eerg.
on another note..my birthday is next monday. "sweet 16". you know the norm- most 16 year old's get nice cars or trips out of state, or some amazing gift from their parents. guess what i get....nothing. absolutely nothing. my dads even leaving the country for my birthday- hes cares THAT much. i love it.
but i am renting a limo and me and friends are going to Atlanta to eat. so...cool (?)
im at school right now. study hall to be exact. Lakeviews a bitch. i want to be out of highschool now.
oh. i got braces too. they dont hurt anymore but its still going to be a pain in my ass to have them on for 10 months. when i first got them- i was really upset because i didnt think that you could kiss or do anything with them..but luckly i am wrong. so yay.
mmk. enough is enough. <33 |
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