urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her be still, my heart . . . 2005-03-16T21:54:14Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:6345 2005-03-16T21:54:14Z 2005-03-16T21:54:14Z ugly cassanova im through with livejournal.<br /><br /> goodbye &lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:6136 2005-03-09T22:19:37Z 2005-03-09T22:19:37Z garbage i honestly dont know what i would do if he left. thats the point that im at right now. hes not, i know that, and i am told everyday that hes not going anywhere for a long time, that hes so happy, etc and he means every word...but if and when it does happen, i can picture myself being devastated. when with the people ive been with in the past- i wouldnt give a damn...& if i felt anything in the first place: i was over it in a matter of days.<br /><br />but that thought only crosses my mind 1 out of 8932798732474354768 thoughts a day. the others are fucking happy. like, unlike myself happy. im naturally a "glass half full" person, but take that and times it by 54 and thats how i am now. absolutely nothing gets to me, smiling all the time- even when upset, laughing at everything, even fucking skipping. i dont skip. but i do now. he makes me soo happy, and just- alive i guess. and i am actually willing to do anything to make this one work. which definitely isnt my frame of mind. <br /><br />downside- he goes to a different school & works a lot. but the feeling of missing him disappearing is so amazing when i get to see him on the weekends. i couldnt be happier that i have this<br /><br />im not in love by any mean, dont get me wrong. but its definitely bliss i guess you could say, and the most amazing part- its just the beginning. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:5786 2005-03-06T13:58:59Z 2005-03-06T13:58:59Z park we have school monday when the whole world doesnt. yay for private school. not. i need that extra day too.<br /><br />movie last night. fun. more than fun- awesome because of him<br /><br />update- not single anymore. and damn happy this time<br /><br /><br /><br />dear summer,<br />please come as soon as you can.<br /><br /><br /><br />buhbye&lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:5564 2005-02-25T04:19:29Z 2005-02-25T04:33:55Z alexisonfire <p>&nbsp;</p> <p><a name="cutid1"></a> </p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/sexaaaaayyy.jpg"></p> <p>:) smile taylorrrrrr.</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/laugh.jpg"></p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/kiss.jpg"></p> <p>hah..care you look so funny :)</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/idonotknow.jpg"></p> <p>i think we were trying to figure out the camera...then it took, maybe(?)</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/heh.jpg"></p> <p>mhm.</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/hahahahah.jpg"></p> <p>i dont know....</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/hah.jpg"></p> <p>hah...geez. what is my problem.</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/againagain.jpg"></p> <p>way to mess up care</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/andagain.jpg"></p> <p>&lt;3youcarolinehollynorman.....!<p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:5285 2005-02-23T03:52:02Z 2005-02-25T04:07:25Z modest mouse <p><a name="cutid1"></a> </p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/mylittlerocker.jpg"></p> <p>aw- my little rocker caroline</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/messupakalaughing.jpg"></p> <p>wow- mess up. laughing too hard</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/muah.jpg"></p> <p>kiss</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/ihearditthroughthegrapevine.jpg"></p> <p>hah...yesss...</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/thatswhatithoughthoe.jpg"></p> <p>yeah, i dont know anymore...</p> <p><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v684/Tayslim1190/ghettobitches.jpg"></p> <p>ghetto bitches. hah...</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p>yay for sundays. even though this is 2 days late...shutup. theres more- but i dont have them. </p> <p>hey cool...the weekend is in 3 days.</p> <p>yeah. mmkbye. &lt;33</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:5065 2005-02-20T17:29:48Z 2005-02-20T17:29:48Z the yeah yeah yeahs i love four day weekends, i love four day weekends, i love four day weekends hey hey hey hey<br /> (sung to the tune of "ive got a pickle")<br /><br /><br /> sooo...yeah.<br /><br /><br />i think that i FINALLY got through to him that we're nothing. this would be the...3rd time we've had this talk. but hey, third times a charm.<br /><br /> community service today...erg. but i get to play with puppies at petsmart with alli and elizabeth. cool community service in my book.<br /><br /> missed a cool party with kelly (my love) from what i hear...all because i didnt get home until 1. and because my phone hates me and chooses not to ring sometimes. damnit.<br /><br /> okay...........bye. &lt;33<br /><br /><br />you've caught my eye ;) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:4749 2005-02-15T14:03:33Z 2005-02-15T14:09:12Z the dresden dolls tell her why you think shes so cool<br />talk to her in movie theatres<br />hold her hand<br />and skip<br />hold her hand and run<br />just hold her hand<br />let her pay if she wants to<br />sit in a park and talk to her<br />just talk to her<br />take her to the library<br />take her to your house<br />take her anywhere<br />tell her dirty jokes<br />tell her happy stories<br />tell her your stories<br />tell her anything<br />when she starts swearing at you-<br />tell her you love her<br />take her to shows of bands shes never heard of<br />hold her hand in the mosh pit<br />let her fall asleep in your arms<br />sing to her<br />no matter how bad you are<br />get her mad, then kiss her<br />give her space if she needs it<br />stay up with her all night if shes sick<br />and hold back her hair<br />give her a pet name- a cool one, not a sappy one<br />take her to cool shops<br />and let her take you to even cooler ones<br />listen to all the bands she mentions<br />dont tell her that her favorite bands suck<br />buy her ice cream<br />let her take all the pictures of you she wants<br />look into her eyes<br />slow dance with her<br />kiss her in the rain<br />just kiss her<br />be yourself around her<br />and when you fall in love with her...<br />tell her.<br /><br />hmm....pshh..yeah right.<br /><br /><br />valentines day was-interesting-to say the least. i walked into first period and there were roses on my desk. suprised me. but in a good way, i guess. cancelled dinner reservations just because. but still ended up going to his house and fell asleep (on accident) during the movie. hah. only for about 30 minutes though, and he didnt notice. yeah....<br /><br />the rest is a secret. :)<br /><br />i dont like uniforms for school....fuck knee socks. i look like i should be in a japanese porn video<br /><br /> &lt;33 bye urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:4255 2005-02-06T16:21:32Z 2005-02-16T18:42:58Z the pixies i honestly dont know what to think anymore. i just wished that i cared, i guess. but i dont....at all. <br /><br />so much i should say, yet so much i j u s t c a n t.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />got to figure all of this shit out i suppose....<br /><br /><br /><br />until then,<br />&lt;33 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:4070 2005-01-31T18:21:42Z 2005-01-31T18:23:09Z eagles of death metal hah.<br /><br />well..its my birthday bitches. my mom forgot- what a fucking suprise. so i came to school all pissed off at the world because not only did she forget, but we got in a fight over NOTHING. so- she needs to die. anyways. my day got so much better. i got a bouquet of roses (16 in all), and alli, adam, and philip all pitched in and bought me a bailey's chocolate cake. so we all chilled in the art room and ate that. then robin made up a poem that doesnt even rhyme for me. hah. oh well.<br /><br />and last night philip came over, and he gave me 2 cds. and cookies-hah. :)<br /><br />geez i love people.<br /><br /><br />&lt;33 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:3712 2005-01-27T18:36:28Z 2005-02-16T19:29:00Z HORSE the band okay, so yeah that was a great weekend and all...but now he thinks that we're "going out". which we're not. i dont know if i want that. i just want to be single for now. and plus- ive hurt a really amazing guy in the process and have probably messed up their band stuff, because hes not really going anymore. eerg.<br /><br />on another note..my birthday is next monday. "sweet 16". you know the norm- most 16 year old's get nice cars or trips out of state, or some amazing gift from their parents. guess what i get....nothing. absolutely nothing. my dads even leaving the country for my birthday- hes cares THAT much. i love it.<br />but i am renting a limo and me and friends are going to Atlanta to eat. so...cool (?)<br /><br />im at school right now. study hall to be exact. Lakeviews a bitch. i want to be out of highschool now.<br /><br />oh. i got braces too. they dont hurt anymore but its still going to be a pain in my ass to have them on for 10 months. when i first got them- i was really upset because i didnt think that you could kiss or do anything with them..but luckly i am wrong. so yay.<br /><br />mmk. enough is enough. &lt;33 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:3507 2005-01-25T14:55:25Z 2005-02-16T18:43:29Z the shins ...that one took me by suprise...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />aren't first kisses magnificent?<br /><br /><br />&lt;33 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:3248 2005-01-23T22:17:26Z 2005-01-23T22:17:26Z park to say the least- this has been the most amazing weekend i have had in an awful long time. too long i suppose.<br /><br />friday- left school @ 10:30 with my brother, went back to his dorm and i slept on a couch because i was dead from getting no sleep the night before. wake up to 10 guys around a table full of pizza..and only knowing a grand total of two of them- neither of which were adam..who had left me..i started eat, drinking, and chatting with all of them. very cool people might i add.went to my real house around 4 or 5..and did absolutely nothing. until philip called and wanted to hang out- but my parents- being the bitches they are- of course wouldnt have that. so- when they left- as did i. philip drove down and we went to the river and sat on these big rocks and talked and looked at stars for a good 2 hours. this whole time though, didnt notice the river rising. greeaattt. i told my mom i was going to a friends house to watch movies- and ended up wading through a river with philip. lol. i love it. well, yeah- freezing water, violent current. not fun. but it all turned out okay- and i didnt get caught :)<br /><br />sat- woke up fucking early. i dont remember my day up to 7 that night- when i went to alli's house. then philip picked us up from there, and we went straight to st. ives coffee house. needless to say- it was nothing short of amazing. then went to this dock in the middle of lake lanier and was there for literally 10 minutes. spinned around a couple of times, froze, then ran back to the car. then more driving, more music, more laughs. blah blah blah. went to another dock behind these peoples house. rolled on our stomachs down a hill. lol. then took alli home, and philip and i went back to his house for a while- then mi padre picked me up from there<br /><br />today- didnt go to sleep until 4:15 am..because of phone time. 4 hours- wow. talking about everything. its amazing how much we have in common. sat on my moms floor with adam and tried to figure our new cell phones out. confusing little fuckers. and in about..20 minutes..going to see a movie with philip. so yeah..not bad<br /><br />if you couldnt tell, im very happy :)<br /><br />mmk..thats enough. this was way too long.<br /><br /><br />(yay!) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:3071 2005-01-16T18:44:09Z 2005-02-16T18:44:01Z my american heart i made an uh-oh :|<br /><br /><br />and its rreeeaaaallllyyyy bad.<br /><br /><br /><br />oops.<br /><br />but last night was SOOOOOOOO much fun w/ philip rahul(my new friend!) andre domonique jessica sarah ashley: dancing, drinking, docks, lakes, movies, pictures. :)<br /><br />round two...next weekend<br /><br />tonight- more dancing! wild bills. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:2548 2005-01-09T21:12:24Z 2005-01-09T21:15:04Z jump little children i kinda like this feeling i get when i talk or see him &lt;3<br /><br />i miss mo, alex, jen, and chris. i hate that we always have to fuck everything up, then not get to see each other for weeks. i dont think that ill be around alex much anymore because of new years, which fucking kills me. it was fun while it lasted, though...minus the stupid mistakes that we make so often. i love you guys..no matter what.<br /><br />soo...spring break- hawaii(?) yeah, im thinking ahead already. i want school to end. now. its not that i hate it there, becuase i dont & its alot better than north, but i miss all the people i hung out with @ north. annd..miles goes to north, and i dont get to see him everyday like i did last year. its definitely going to be a challenge to keep this relationship working.<br /><br />apart from thoughts like these, and the ones in my last entry- which i dont know why i even posted that..fucking random thoughts lol- ive been very happy lately. always smiling, laughing @ everything..ya know..the works. i like being happy :)<br /><br />wana hear a joke, that at the time- made me laugh my ass off..because it was 12 on a tuesday night, and i was very tired and wasnt home...<br />mmk..so there was this blonde who was in her office crying, and her boss walked by and saw that she was upset, so he stopped and asked why she was crying. she told him that she had just found out her mom died. so he gave his sympathy, and asked if she needed some time off, and she assured him that she was fine. so he left. A little while later, he walked back by her office, and saw her crying again. So, once again, he asked her what was wrong- and she said that she had just found out that her sisters mom died too. <br /><br />:) hah....it was funny to me. <br /><br />alright..thats enough.....&lt;33<br /><br />p.s- alli...you're my hero. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:1934 2005-01-04T19:25:51Z 2005-02-16T18:47:50Z straylight run well.<br />yeah.<br />i just got home from skiing...which by the way, i suck at. lol. i busted my ass standing up, not even moving. yeah- im just THAT cool. like, ski's flew up over my head, off my feet, and i couldnt get up. i loved it. And after only getting 30 minutes of sleep the night before, i wasnt in the mood to be falling. but tara and i fell asleep by the fire in the lodge for like 3 hours. lol ahh well. Id do it again in a heartbeat- only this time..im trying snow boarding, just because i think that i would be more coordinated with both my feet on one board, than one on each flying all over the place.<br /><br />we had sex mirrors in our hotel room, all along the walls. it was amazing.<br />and shelby and i ran around and wrote with soap on peoples windows outside.<br />and i accidentally wrote snow backwards, but hey, it was early.<br /><br /><br />anyways..i have cool pictures. butttt.. i dont know how to post them. so- sucks for all. i'll learn somehow.<br /><br />i missed school today. yay. :)<br /><br />okay, i dont want to type anymore. byye &lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:1732 2004-12-31T05:48:44Z 2005-02-16T18:44:56Z spitalfield well kids.<br />christmas has come and gone, and i got absolutely everything BUT what i really wanted. i just wanted money..<br /><br />favorite christmas present- a boyfiend :) lol (miles)<br /><br />new years eve tomorrow. "get together" thing @ mos house. probably will end up to be more than that knowing us. i cant wait.<br /><br />anndd...that would be all...mmkkbye<br /><br /><br />&lt;33 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:1524 2004-12-24T20:03:26Z 2005-02-16T18:45:43Z the killers napoleon dynomite and dodgeball sucked ass so much that i laughed<br /><br /><br /><br />speaking of sucking ass............<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />yeah. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:im_not_her:1027 2004-12-24T00:54:24Z 2005-02-16T18:47:09Z the music enough.<br />im sick of it.<br />and im definitely taking a break from it all<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />will you drive me away from here? leave everything behind.....